Hi all. I have been so busy with a couple of projects I am completing before I leave, but I thought that I would share this list with you. This is "Rules for Readjustment to American Life" written by a group that left a few years ago, but still rings unbelievably true. So if you see me doing any of these things when I get home, please forgive me, and I hope this gives you a little insite into my daily life (no matter how crass!). Sorry its so long, but its worth it. (we think this is hilarious). There are a few others, but i left them out...

p.s. I am now officially an RPCV (Returned Peace Corps Volunteer). I leave for Turkey on Sunday! I should be home for Thankgiving and I look forward to seeing everyone!

love, heidi

1. you should not talk about your diarrhea in social situations
2. going to the bazaar, having a guest, or getting locked in your house are not appropriate excuses for not going to work.
3. It will not be ok to put your dairy products in the corner of your apartment by the air conditioner and call that a refrigerator. Nor can you just hang your food outside or leave it on th balcony in the winter instead of refrigerating it.
4. you cannot expect to just stand out on the side of the road with your hand out and expect a car to stop for you.
5. when you see someone taking medicine, it is not ok to ask them what it is for.
6. you cannot eat with your hands.
7. you cannot urinate in a bottle and keep it in your closet.
8. it will not be normal to buy a car then proceed to take off all the window handles, back door locks and seat belts.
9. you must wear a seat belt.
10. it will be ok to enter a car from the left back door.
11. your deodorant being in the other room is not an excuse to not wear it.
12. females-you will be able to sit in the front seat of a car.
13. you won't have ot eat your soup fast to prevent it from congealing
14. it wont be acceptable for you to just pick ants or flies out of your food and keep eating
15. you cannot call a girl a slut because she is wearing a dress shorter than ankle length.
16. you cannot eat cakes named "n_ger smiles"
17. it will not be normal for you to come home to your apartment to find your landlord in your bathtub. nor can he steal your ketchup, lock you out of part of your place, or use it for his personal storage.
18. it will not be ok for you to leave the gas stove on 24/7 just to save matches or hassle.
19. you will not be using your gas stove to heat your apartment
20. it will not be normal to buy a plane ticket for the same price as 2 bottles of Coke.
21. You will not be able to find vodka in a can or in a plastic peel-back juice style cup.
22. It will be ok to put the bread upside down
23. when you give directions you must be more explicit than "over there"
24. the water that you wash your clothes and body in will actually be clean. you can wash your clothes and body in separate water.
25. you cannot click at people to say "no"
26. it won't be considered "hospitality" if you force people to stay and eat in your home against their will.
27. you cannot offer tea to every person you walk by on the street
28. you will not need your passport just to go to the market
29. there will be no reason for you to be carrying around a 6-inch thick stack of cash.
30. you will be expected to use soap when you wash dishes.
31. used toilet paper does not go in the waste basket
32. boiling hot tea and steaming soup will not be considered appropriate hot weather meals.
33. you cannot ask someone, "take my picture, with your camera, and give me copies!"
34. your neighbors' dirty kids cannot swim in your drinking water source.
35. you'll be using a mop instead of an old shirt to wash the floor.
36. youll be able to sweep in an upright position, and you will vacuum the carpet instead of sweeping it.
37. you could probably get reported to the authorities for cutting off your dogs ears and tail.
38. you will not be able to go to someones birthday party and totally ignore them
39. you will not be allowed to insult, degrade, or hit your students or children on the street.
40. it will not be entertaining for you to watch a foreign language soap opera dubbed over in another language, neither of which you understand.
41. you should bathe daily
42. you will be able to sit rather than squat to perform your bodily functions.
43. drip-drying your crotch will not be ok
44. it won't be normal for drivers to hot-wire their cars to start them
45. your taxi wont have to restart at every stop light.
46. prices are fixed, don't bargain for groceries.
47. you will not have chickens to give your food scraps to
48. you wont have to carry your toilet paper and water bottle wherever you go
49. "wah-wahey" won't be an appropriate response to someone's death.
50. you must wait your turn in line.
51. when you go to a restaurant, you wont have to ask "do you have food?"
52. you won't be able to send your 10 year old sister to buy cigarettes and vodka
53. you cannot assume you'll get a good job simply because you know english
54. you wont be able to talk about people around you, they all understand english
55. it wont be ok for you to stare at someone just because they are different.
56. children are not to be used as all purpose slaves.
57. you wont be expected to sit on the floor.
58. male guests don't automatically get a pilow to lean on.
59. "papa came" is not an appropriate name for a child.
60. you cannot name your daughter "we need a son"
61. you will be able to drink from the tap and water fountains.
62. shitting in your pants wont automatically make you a part of an exclusive club
63. you should not receive your salary in coins.
64. you can wear shorts, tank tops, wrinkly clothes and scuffed shoes.
65. you can go outside with wet hair
66. you wont get scolded for eating ice cream or drinking ice water. nor will doing so cause sore throats or kidney infections.
67. you will have more than 3 channels on your TV.
68. glucose IVs will not be an all-purpose medical treatment
69. it will not be normal for injections to be given for every little medical ailment, real or imagined,
70. littering is not OK
71. children cannot swim naked in public fountains
72. you cannot yell "GOO!" to get someones attention.
73. you wont be able to just show up at someone's house and expect a full meal.
74. you can wash and dry your clothes in amachine
75. spinnting down your shirt instead of knocking on wood is not socially acceptable.
76. you cannot ask people about their salaries, nor are you expected to share yours
77. unmarried females - people will not assume you are a virgin.
78. it is ok to be over 22 and married.
79. you cannot poop or vomit in the bucket you were issued to keep drinking water in
80. you will not have to use your lightbulb to warm your room in the winter
81. you won't be drinking beer from a 1.5 liter, used, unlabled plastic bottle,
82. it will be expected that men and women will eat together
83. camel, sheep and cow poop will not be normal obstacles on your way to work.
84. It is not OK to throw rocks at people for looking different
85. its not acceptable for children to yell "n_ger!" in unison at people with dark skin as they walk down the street.
86. people won't think you are weird for sleeping alone.
87. it is not ok to date girls under 18
88. you will not have to answer the following questions every single time you go ANYWHERE: "where are you from?, how old are you?, are you married?, how much money do you make? will you marry me? will you take me to america? "
89. you cannot get kicked out of your house for being American
90. people won't stare at you on the street
91. you will not be special, you will be just like everyone else, but with less manners....

hey everyone!
tomorrow we fly to the caspian for our close of service conference. 2 years is almost up! Can you believe it! The summer has been pretty packed with camps and vacations. Murgap camp ended on Sunday, and it was crazy. I wish I could just take a week to relax at home, but I guess Ill have to go to the caspian instead!

To anyone who has tried to email me, I can't get it, so I have the same username, but at runbox dot com, so if you would like to send some love, send it there instead. I am workin on a google account. Ill get back to you!

Take care,
heidi

Hi Again. Happy May. Sorry for the last entry. I was feeling a little low. Its starting to get warm now, but I am looking forward to the summer. Camps will be fun, and the monotony of the school year will be at an end. I have great news! The teacher that I work closely with was chosen to go to America for 6 weeks in the summer for an education conference. She will be in Chico most of the time. I am so proud of her. Only about 10 teachers from Turkmenistan were chosen, so it is a huge honor. As for me, everything is about the same, just teaching classes and hanging out. I had food poisoning yesterday, so I had to stay an extra day in the capital, but I am about to go home. I am feeling much better, but I'm still afraid to eat. I hope that all is well. Write!
love heidi

Greetings from Thailand! If you are not already insanely jealous by that statement, you should be, Thailand rocks! I can't even begin to describe it yet, and I haven't even made it to the beach yet (my bus leaves in 5 minutes). I hope you all are great. And that people still read this thing... I will write back with more details, I just wanted to make your mouths water.
love, heidi

Hi everyone! I have been so lazy about posting, I'm sorry! So everything in Turkmenistan is going well. In September I saw my dad and sister in London, and that was awesome. We toured all over England and saw some cool things. Our bus scared 100 sheep into running for their lives. I also got to see Bennett and Mamen and hang out in Guildford. One day, after my family left, I spent 8 hours in Borders and just browsed all the new books and movies and drank coffee and hung out. It was wonderful. In October/November I went to India, and that was amazing. The food was unreal! I went with three other girls and we had a great time. I can't wait to go back after I close my service! We saw the Taj Mahal, went to Jaipur, Delhi, Agra and Rishikesh to hang out with all the swamis. The new volunteers also came while I was in London. They have been here now for about 5 months. Time really flies. In November we had another Thanksgiving celebration at my house and it was a lot of fun. Lots of vodka, dancing and even some hula-hooping. In December we celebrated Christmas at Andrea's house. That's where I slaughtered a turkey, plucked it, cleaned it out, and cooked it. Who wants to have me over next year? This celebration was complete with the usual vodka, Mary welayat standard charades and other shenanagans. Since then it has been pretty much back to the gridstone. I am busy teaching and putting together clubs and trying to conjure up some projects in hopes of actually "doing something". Only 9 more months left though, it feels like no time at all! Next weekend we are having a valentines day party. It should be really fun. I hope that everything is going great in all of your lives! Take care!Ill try to update at least a couple more times before I leave! :).

Hey! So today is the last day before the first day of my vacation! WOOHOO. Also it is my ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY IN TURKMENISTAN! Can you believe it? You all must be missing me sooooo much by now! (which means that I would give anything to see YOU guys!). I had a funny marshrutka (mini-van) ride to Ashgabat today. It was me with six other grown turkmen men chillin in the car, me with my headphones on. The last hour of the trip, they decided they wanted to listen to what I was listening to, too. So we put my tape in the player (though I warned them they wouldn't like it, they aren't to into punk and such), but the player was playing on double speed (though the driver swears that it wasn't), so I was barreling down the highway at about 100 mph in a mini-van full of 6 other big, burly turkmen men listening to the chipmunks imitate the likes of nofx, linkin park, outkast and ben harper. I couldn't stop laughing, I felt I was living in a SNL skit. It was a great start to what will hopefully be the best vacation EVER. Wish you were coming, ma!
love, h

Hey everyone! Aina had her baby! Her name is Gulzada and she was 2 kilos and 400 grams. She is really cute and hairy. I will post pictures as soon as I am not lazy. So... uh... Later. Camps went really well, minus major obstacles and frustrations and us basically on the verge of giving up. But they happened. I am glad to relax until the school starts, and then I go on Vacation!!! Yeah!

Hope all is well back there! Love Ya and Miss Ya!
Heidi

Hi! Well WHEW! My camp is finished! Yeah! It was AWESOME! I will post pics as soon as I get a chance. I will definately send all my pics home with my dad when I see him in England in September! ooh ooh! I can't wait. And my sister is coming and B-nut will be there too. Fun, fun. Anyone else who wants to come, I should be there (god willing) from September 9th through 23rd. Camp was so awesome. Ups, downs, ins, outs, craziness, hard work, early morning, late nights (uh... 9:30 IS late, right?), lots of screaming, water, tired people, tears, hugs, kids screaming, kids fighting, kids being hungry, kids driving us insane, kids SPEAKING ENGLISH! SUCCESS! I don't know what else to say right now. I am glad to pass the director torch on to Marc for camp in shatlyk starting Monday. Yikes! I think that Mary region is suicidal. :), in a good way though, these kids love it, and it has made my stay here totally worth it so far. I love camps! I am so happy to be here, (for now)! Though I miss everyone SO MUCH! Come to England! Much love, hugs, kisses, Heidi

Ok, so the last posting was a little negative, but I was very tired after the conference. Sheryl and I are very busy planning and preparing for our 10 day camp that starts on monday. woo hoo. I am very excited. Ashgabat was a lot of fun, good food, good friends, good times. AND they had a pool. I got nicknamed "queen of the dangerous pool activities", at least they were fun dangerous pool activities, and no one got hurt, so they must not have been that dangerous. Today I am in Mary buying supplies for camp and after this I will hopefully go buy my plane ticket to LONDON! yeah! I am meeting my dad and my sister there for 10 fun-filled days. Hopefully Bennett will be there too so I can bug him and tease him about his hair gel. I can't wait for vacations. Andrea, Rebecca, Kim and I are also planning a trip to India at the end of October (if PC lets me go, TEFL has restrictions that Health volunteers don't). So I am excited, pretty much everyone has gone somewhere but me, and I hope nothing gets canceled like Thailand did for SARS. I will update you all on how camp went in about two weeks. Talk to you then, and take care. Love, me

Hello. Today I am heading back to Mary after spending a week here in Ashgabat at the conference. We didn't have much time to email this week because we were busy actually working. My birthday was great fun. Everyone was so nice and the people in my region (and others, too) really pulled through. I felt really special :). Other than that not much new. I am just working on the english center and planning for camp on the 23rd. It is going to be (and is already) a busy summer.
We are all becoming very bitter and disillusioned, so it will be nice to have a summer full of camps and volunteers and actual productiveness. This conference has made most of us wish that we were home. I think it is just one of those "stages" all volunteers go through, but it sucks. Send us love! Take care. Heidi

Hi Everyone! Well I wrote a long letter on our new computers, but I guess I forgot to save it to a disk and now I have to write a new one. But that is ok, because the computers here at peace corps are free. Well, good news! I got my first grant approved and I will be opening an english language resource and technology center at my school. I got money for an air conditioner (yea!), tv/vcr, stereo and painting and repair supplies. We (Sheryl and I) also got money for camp in June. We are very excited. Things are moving along smoothly and quickly on this end. I hope you are all well and good. I think I will be coming home for christmas and new years, so start planning a great party! until next time, Heidi

Ok, NEW PICS ARE UP. I chose 24 of the best ones and put them up on the site, in an album called T-stan (I was feelin mighty creative). Now I did take over 400 pictures, but it took me over an hour to put up these 24, so you will all be in for a treat when I get home, too : ).

much love!

Fun T-stan fact for the day:
While riding in Taxi cabs, Children do not count as actual people.
Let me explain.
Imagine yourself in a circa 1970s BMW, the really tiny ones in case further clarification is needed. Now imagine it really beat up and smelling bad. OK. Now you are in what we call here a "machine" or "taxi". Now in any given taxi (yes they are pretty much all the same, they are old russian built Ladas), there are 4 paying seats. Every taxi waits for these seats to be filled, unless the other passengers are willing to cover the missing passengers fees, but children do not count. For example, on my way to this very cafe, this very day, I was in such a machine with 4 other grown men and a 6 year old child, but that was quite moderate compared to the ride before that where I was sharing the back seat with 1 other woman, 1 man and 3 small children ranging from about 2 -7. It gets a little cramped. Yes, you heard me right, 6 people in the back seat of a car the size of a VW Bug.
You haven't had adventure till you've come to t-stan!

Hello,
Wow, it has been exactly a month since my last posting. Sorry, I have been a slacker. My counterpart just got 2 new computers that she won from an American organization for being such a good english teacher. I have been spending some time trying to teach her the basics, but it is hard because the interface for the computer and most of the programs is all in Russian and I am a little slow. I think that we are going to try to get one of them reformatted to be in English, so I can teach computer lessons. So that is exciting.

My parents lately have been asking about what I see and what I do, so I thought that I would tell you all a little about my daily life. Today and this next week are holidays! yeah! March 20th was women's day, so the president hands out gifts of money and clothes to all the women and girls at the schools. Someone should inform Bush of this holiday, it seems kinda nice : ). So usually I get up around 8 and do some stretches or TRY to do some sort of excersize in my room (because it isn't really culturally acceptable to do it outside as you may have read earlier). I go to the toilet (which you have to wear special clothes in because you actually come out smelling like poo), it is an outhouse that we share with about 3 families, go to the banya wash my face and hands (and twice a week, my body). There is no running water, and we get our water from a well in our yard. We fill up this huge bucket in the banya that has a constantly running gas stove, so the water is warm, and scoop it onto ourselves. I no longer take showers, I take buckets. Then I go into the kitchen and drink some tea or hot chocolate and eat some bread and butter and jam, go to my room, put on an ugly Turkmen dress or if Im feeling fiesty, maybe some pants (gasp!). Then I walk 20 minutes to work, where I usually get about 30,000 Hello! How are you! American! s on my way. Its a nice walk though and the only thing that keeps me under 200lbs. Then at work I hang out, drink tea, and teach classes, every day I have a different class schedule ranging from seminars on American life, the Ruhnama (the Turkmen president's book) to English (5th and 6th graders). I also have English clubs and stuff and Sheryl comes on Tuesdays to teach health (and hang out with me!). I am going to start a dance class soon, which should be fun! Then I go home to a huge greasy meal (but delicious), watch russian TV (no, I dont understand any of it, until they say thank you, or my name is). Then when I can't take it anymore, I retire to my room for a little reading, maybe a little workout (if I didn't that morning) and go to sleep around 10. I get a lot of sleep, but I am always tired...

So I hope that everyone is a little more enlightened on my daily routine. I hope to be sending pictures home soon, but it is a real pain, and I am doing my best. So please be patient!

A special note to all parents and loved ones. The previous entry wasn't really a big deal, so DONT FREAK OUT! OK?? Today we had an english competition, and my school won! yeah! It wasn't really my doing however, I tell you, they don't really need me. I have been spending the last week trying to figure out what my purpose is here. What I can do- that people both want and need. That is the hard question. I know what they need, and I know what they want, and I don't know how to make them both into something I can DO. Especially when they don't want to put any effort into anything. grr. This week has been a little frustrating, but at least I have a great support group near me, unlike danielle :(.. I can't believe she can speak that good of Bemba to be hashing out goals and stuff. My Turkmen is by far the worst, but that is probably because my students and teachers and family speak pretty good english. And that is what Im here for right? For them to practice English? Somebody PLEASE reassure me that I am not a failure because I can't speak Turkmen.....(ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh)

"COPS" (cue song: "bad girls, bad girls, whatcha gonna do? whatcha gonna do when they interrogate you?")

Well Sheryl and I had our first encounter with the Murgap police department yesterday. It was.. well... a good story. We had decided to try to walk from my city (Murgap) to Sheryl's calhouze (Nurana), which is about 13 km away. It started out very nice and uneventfull except my host father threw a fit that I was trying to leave without taking my jacket (I eventually took it). We stopped by my school for coffee, and estimated that the walk would probably take about 2-3 hours, depending on our motivation. We started the trek, we were enjoying the scenery (there was actually a little greenery), and taxi's kept stopping and trying to make us get in. (Not many people understand the concept of exercise in this country) We politely declined. After about 30 minutes of blissfull walking, we were approached again and this time the guys only shouted at us in Russian as they passed and we (not understanding) ignored them completely. They circled their car around again (god forbid the STOP the car in the first place) and then stopped and told us they were police and demanded our passports and asked us what were we doing. We told them that I live and work in Murgap and Sheryl lives and works in Nurana, and we were walking from my house to hers. We handed our passports over, and they were like "where is your stamp?" (stamp being symbolized by one of the guys pounding his fist into his other hand as hard as he could). We were like, we have registered with the police and they said we didn't need one. And they said "well, you do.", and why are you walking, don't you know there are taxi's? You have to come with us to the police station. And we were like ok, give us our passports back, and we will get a taxi to the police station. (I should mention here that some volunteers had recently been tricked into giving their passports and money to "police men" who had fake ids, and had them stolen, so we were actually being smart. yea us. ) They wouldn't give us our passports and were physically trying to shove us into the cab. I turned to Sheryl, and said "there is no way in hell Im getting in that car". We told him he could follow a different taxi that we took, and he ( I am referring to the big powertrip cop here, Ill call him pig, and his friend is a little nicer and more reasonable, we will call him goat.) So pig got upset by this, why didn't we trust him, so he said, ok you take a taxi, but Im taking your passports, and we were like "hell no, buddy!" (you know how much those are worth??) So we were like no way, we are going to call the embassy and peace corps and you can't take them away, and basically threw a fit, until finally (after much negotiation) we were given them back by goat. pig didn't like it. So pig instructed our new taxi, who we flagged down (I use the word "taxi" loosly. In T-stan its any car that has a spare inch) to take us directly to the police station. I wanted to stop by the school first and grab Aina, but we weren't allowed.
So we get to the police station and they throw us in this room where pig now has a big important desk, and goat is chatting with us (it turns out one of the women Sheryl works with is his sister (or some relative, you never quite know here)). Pig gives us a 40 minute (not exagerating) lecture on how we shouldn't walk being young (uh FEMALES) children, and american at that, when strange people will try and force you into their cars with guns (guns here symbolized by him pointing to his own) (the irony about killed me). "There are a lot of bad people in this tiny country who come from the countries surrounding us (of couse), and we shouldn't be stupid by walking around". He questions us about where we live and who we work with and why dont we have this precious f-ing stamp. (I am thinking of all the ways I can politely tell off my supervisor for not having gotten me this stamp). So then he does over the phone "background checks", calling our supervisors, and work. In the mean time another officer walks in with hand cuffs, and Sheryl whispers to me "he's only got one set, whoever he cuffs, the other make a run for it!" It was a good plan, but unneccesary (we also could not call the Peace Corps, because the phone wasn't working for long distance calls (supposidly)) because he was just there to meet the Americans. Then the registration lady comes in and was like "why didn't you register?" We were like, "uh, we did, you wrote down our information and told us we didn't need a stamp" and then she was like, "oh, ok, well thats right" and then I said, "so can we get the stamps now?" and she said "oh, you don't need them". CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT!!!!! And I said, so, in three months, are you going to drag me back in here and question me? (btw my turkmen is GREAT when I'm pissed). And then pig gave us his phone number work and home, so we can call him if anyone tries to harrass us (of couse he had to warn us 20 more times about bad boys with guns that do drugs, and poke us in the chest a few times to emphasize his point.) The only thing I could think was who I was going to call the next time I ran into him.

Also this week was Gurban Bairam. I saw a silencing of a lamb. It was sad, and gross, and smelled bad. Also my kaka's 7 sisters and 3 brothers and all thier spouses and children came over. Great fun. (ha).. We got to swing on these huge swings though, and that IS great fun.

talk to you next week.

Hi. I have decided to write to let everyone know (because this is the first question most people are asking me) that I have been taking vitamins now, and my hair has officially returned back to normal! YEAH!! As for the weight... well... Im working on it. : ). I am having fun here in Ashgabat, but not much exciting has taken place. We are going out to celebrate the February birthdays tonight. It should be fun. Everyone seems to be a little worried that we wont get to stay our whole 2 years. I hope we do. There is a lot I need to do... (especially TRAVEL!!) but with work too. :). I hope everyone is good. Ill talk to you soon.

Ok Title change "Heidi is in Ashgabat, and gets to drink a beer, yeah!".
So that basically sums up how my weekend will be. Last week was realatively uneventful, but I am feeling much better. Sheryl and I made salsa last night and put them in somsas so they were basically like baked quesadillas without the queso (next time). It was really good. Also, I got a lovely package from the past volunteer at my site. I will update more later, I gotta go eat lunch! Hi ALL!

Yo, what up all? So this week I think the "culture shock" is starting to set in and my "honeymoon phase" is officially over. A little turkmen piece of s&^% kid grabbed my behind and ran for his life (lucky for him) yesterday. Then I was taunted and tortured all the way to school. I am convinced you must be masochistic to join the Peace Corps. Why else would you submit to so much torture? You get treated like a 3 year old. You never understand. People think you are incredibly stupid (because you don't know how to do things, how to talk, you left your whole family and all your friends behind). You get tortured and teased until you want to curly up in a little ball and can only utter "mommy" in a barely audible tone because the little kids are so mean and relentless. AND YOU STILL LIKE IT ENOUGH TO STAY FOR 2 YEARS!!! I honestly don't understand. I guess its the little victories that make me feel like I am actually accomplishing something. Sheryl said she actually thinks one of my teacher's english is getting better (but I dont know if she was just trying to make me feel good, she is good at that). The first chapter of island of the blue dolphins went suprisingly well. I think some of these kids really have potential. I am going to start college funds for them when I get home and get a real job! So there it is, the good, the bad and the madness for this week. Stay tuned for next weeks episode entitled: "Heidi's Revenge"

Hello again. It has been a long time since I have posted, but that is mostly because (as some of you know) I was in Ashgabat for a week, and had daily access to email. So not much is new since then. I am still not really into a routine, and my life feels caotic, but it is calming down somewhat. The PCMO gave me vitamins and special shampoo, so there is hope that I will not come back completely bald. I have also started working out, but it has only been a week, so dont expect she-ra when I get back ( just yet, anyway). :). This weekend has been a volunteer filled weekend for the Mary crew. Tonight is the girls' party, and we say goodbye to heather (sniff, sniff). But I am looking forward to the champagne. Other than that things are sort of at a status quo. Ashgabat was a lot of fun, but very tiring, and I was glad to be back at site. I have started my club kids reading "The island of the blue dolphins" which is sort of a stretch for them, but they are like knowledge sponges, so I am sure that we will be able to work through it. My counterpart is expecting computers next month, which will be very exciting, and I think that i will start holding computer/typing classes. The Mary crew has decided to get t-shirts made, so if anyone is interested in buying one, let me know (they are t-11and mary specific). They are still in the designing phase, but they should be pretty cool. But of course it is cool if it comes from the mary welayat! We have started to plan camps for the summer, and they seem like they will be lots of fun, and very fulfilling, but not like any of us really has any experience directing camps, so it will be quite an adventure. There is a few of us from Mary and Lebap thinking about a Mary to Lebap hike in March. It is about 150 miles. I think that it would be really fun and challenging, and I am hoping that we do it. So those are the things happening in my life right now (that I can think of!). I hope everyone is well on the homefront. Don't forget to write. Love ya and miss ya!

Hi! Happy 2003. And I can still say, see ya next year! So new years is fun. I am a little sick of those loud firecrackers that are everywhere and make my ears bleed (not literally), but it was still fun. I also figured out how santa makes it around the world. See everyone around here has him come on new years. So he gets a whole week to prepare! Ah the mystery is solved! He also wears a blue suit instead of red, and has some little chippy (ice princess?) running around with him. If Mrs. Claus only knew! I got lost trying to find the bank today, so wound up at the internet cafe instead. O well. Dont really need money anyway, right? ha! Maybe Ill try again tomorrow. So I am officially on a diet now, which I dont really know how I am going to pull that one off. I am going to have to be tricky about it. I am somehow going to try to cut the proportions down (I will not back down, no matter what they say!) and try and stay away from the most oily things, and get some excersize. Our medical officer wrote this whole thing on how it is natural for you to lose weight and that we shouldn't worry. What about gaining 10,000lbs. My hair is also falling out at rapid rates, so when I come home I will be fat and bald, just so everyone can be prepared. Well I guess I better be off, I have to teach a class in a little while. And prepare my plan for making it to the bank tomorrow! I will be checking my email a lot next week so email! I miss you all!

Hi all! MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!! Well my christmas was yesterday, and it was lots of fun. All the Mary volunteers, minus one, went to Kyle's house in a calhoze outside of Bairamali. We had such good (american) food, turkeys (heather fought with the turkey while it was alive, and got some battle wounds, but in the end, she got the best of the bird), mashed potatoes, stuffing, squash, apple and pumpkin pie. I made homemade bailey's and irish coffees. They were super duper! We had a white elephant exchange, and the gifts ranged from video games to spam. It was quite entertaining. We turned off the lights and had christmas lights I found at the bazaar and sang christmas carols (or the parts of the carols that we knew, it was pretty pathetic). Then we played cherades. That game is hilarious. Anyway, good times, good friends, only wish the fam could be there. So tomorrow it is back to work..whatever that means. ha. Talk to you later, take care, have a great holiday! love.

Hello! Well, It has been a week full of work, we are starting to get classes and clubs organized for teachers, students and community members. My couterpart has everything pretty much together, so i just help her out with organizing, english, making tea or teaching some classes. We are having a bit of difficulty getting the teachers to come to the stuff that we plan, but hopefully that will change (I will keep you updated). I hope that I can accomplish some good things in my community, I want to feel like I have actually done something, but like they teach us in training, I must be patient. I can't change the world in the first months at site. (not that I would know how to anyway). As always, I am thinking of all of you and hope that you are all well. much love.

Hi All! Happy Turkey Day!! I hope that you all have a wonderful day with your families and friends!

Well today my counterpart started back to work, and now I actually feel like things are starting to get accomplished. Soon I will be teaching english classes (probably both to students and to english teachers), methodology classes, and having (cross your fingers) productive meetings with the teachers conserning curriculum and resources. If anyone is interested in starting a pen pal program, or a childrens book drive or anything, with and for turkmen kids, email me! (heidihonkers@hotmail.com). Today is my host sisters birthday and we are having a little shindig, so it will be a nice little feast to settle my thanksgiving appetite.

Congratulations Danielle on Swearing IN!! woo hoo! we both made it to pc-V status! I wish I could say that i have been on 60km bike rides, but alas, I am just getting fat on gallons and gallons of oil soaked in loaf after loaf of bread and potatoes. :). My little brother wants me to start running at 6 am, but its not even light out, and well, im lazy, but if my waist continues its current pattern, I will be runnin on the streets come spring.

I am really excited to finally be starting to work, and meeting the people that will shape my next two years. So far everyone has been very supportive and wonderful and welcoming. I really couldn't ask for a better site.
I love you all and hope that you are doing great. Shoot me an email if you get a chance!
Much love

hi! First week at site was a lot of fun, my counterpart got married, and i haven't really been doing much but reading and hanging out with the T-fam. i have a correction to my phone number if those below dont work try: 011 993 565 22516. I have a poem written by the T-9s from our swear in and thanksgiving dinner (in the adam sandler turkey song tune, and it had to be a little lewd in true adam sandler spirit). AND Since danielle had a poem, I felt I had to compete a little:

love to eat turkey
love to eat turkey
uh...I mean...
love to eat chili
love to eat chili

love to eat chili
cause its good
love to eat chili
like a good boy should
cause its chili to eat
oh so good

chili for men (me)
and chili for siz (you)
lets eat chili
with our friend aziz

love to eat chili
on the floor
the florida disco's
full of russian whores

eat that chili
all night long
5 million bashy fans
can't be wrong

chili churkey choo
and chili churkey chap
I ceat chili
then I take a nap

thanksgiving
is a special night
until january
you better stay at site
(thats right!)

chili for the girls
and chili for the boys
I drink longs of vodka
at them thanksgiving toys

chili for amy
and chili for dan
i thought the recruiter
said uzbekistan

white beans red beans
you just can't lose
I fell off my donkey
and I got a bruise

chili in the oven
and churuk (bread) in the toaster
dan stanley's got a
really hot host sister

they say in gokdepe
theyve got good soil
my host brother strokes
himself with cotton oil

chili and
sweet pumpkin pie
im just a volunteer and
not a spy

chili down below
and chili up above
I eat lots of chili and
then I join the club (*)

chobble chobble choo
and chobble chobble chickel
I wish chili
only cost a nickel

Thanksgiving is a special day
Thank you Heather,
it was great
hoo-raaaaaaay!

*The club is when you dont quite make it to the squatter on time...

Hi All! Wow, I wish that my letters were more organized or as poetic as danielles, but I just try to get whatever thoughts pop into my head up there. I wish I could tell you more about what it is like to be here, but it is really wierd, on one hand it doesn't feel much different, like this week, we walk around a city that doesn't look much different than an older city that you would find in the us, but on the other hand, everything is different, you can't do anything the same way as you did it in the us, you shop at bazaars, not stores, you speak turkmen (or russian) not english, you must convert everything to manats, people are different, you fear for your life crossing streets, or riding in cars, busses, anything that moves really. Its a little crazy.

Just now walking to the Peace Corps office to check my email there were 3 of us, and these kids started following us (because they heard us speaking english), and started saying "hey mother fucker". We were amused because it is always nice to hear kids practice their english, and it is especially nice to hear a break from the usual "hey AMERICAN 1,2,3,4!", they also knew "bitch" we later found out. Its always glad to hear that us english speakers have such a high impact on little kids lives, that they like to practice it whenever there are americans around. : )

So I am a little scared to start my life in Murgap, but at the same time I am glad. But that is what PC is all about right? Being unbelievably confused and emotionally distraut??

So if anyone whats to call me starting on Sunday this is how you do it (I think) you EITHER dial 011 993 00565 22516 or you dial 001 993 65 22516, it is expensive you so you can get a calling card if you want for like $0.25 a minute. : ) Ok well I am out of time, I miss and love you all!

Hi Everyone, It is wierd to see these letters a little out of order. It seems like some of these things happened years ago! Thanks to everyone all our friends, fam, and t-stan volunteers friends and fam for saying hey in the guest book, everyone gets there messages, don't you worry! Well we are all sort of in limbo now, last week we finished up training, except for a few conferences that we will be having this week in Ashgabat, we will all be staying at the same hotel if you guys want to call, I will email you my room number later. On Wednesday we swear in and become "official Peace Corps Volunteers" craaaazy. I have a lot of mixed feelings, excited to finally get my hands dirty, scared to be by myself, but then again, relieved that I can be the owner of my own life again and don't have to constantly be somewhere or doing something, and it will also be nice to get a break. As much as I love my group members, 2 months of constantly being together is just something I am not used to. :) So the last few weeks have been crazy, we have been studying, trying to accomplish things at our schools, constantly michmaning (guesting) and going to parties, and running around like chickens with our heads cut off. I saw a camel head not attached to a camel body (ew). We all have been sick on and off, some more than others. I think that I have gotten food poisoning twice since I have been here, but I dont really know what exactly to pin it on. Doesn't really matter I am fine now, so is everyone else, I think... My host family is a little crazy, they were obsessed with trying to get the volunteer that is going to be posted at our training site, Misty, to live there. We are convinced that it is strictly because it is seen as a sort of status symbol. whatever. Also, my sense of fashion has really taken a turn for the worse. I am really excited about this taffeta dress that I had made for swear in. It is really cute, but Im not sure if I would have thought so 2 months ago. O well :. Right now it is raining, and well I didn't really bring a coat, and since this is a desert, they aren't really prepared for rain and the city is full of water, it is kind of fun though, but it figures that what, the 3 or 4 days that we have to spend moving in this country, this DESERT, one of the days it rains really hard. I feel like the subject of the Alanis song. I do love rain though. The goodbyes were a little difficult, I can't imagine what it is going to be like to spend 2 years somewhere and then have to say goodbye when I probably wont see them again :(. I am looking forward to this week when I get to wear pants and drink beer in public. I will also have access to email this week, so say hello!!

New pictures of Heidi in Turkmenistan!
http://photos.yahoo.com/pcadv2000

Received 10/15
Hi Everyone!
I hope this letter finds everyone well. I am doing good. Today is Sunday, our day off and I am definately enjoying it. We have been in Turkmenistan for 2 weeks. The first week we all (50 PCVs) were at Chuli a "resort" place outside Turkmenistan. I use the word resort very liberally here. We were basically staying in orphanage style homes, but it was fun, and we got to know eah other better. I have been at my training site, Goekja, for 1 week. There are between 5 and 7 volunteers at each training site. We definately have the best group. =) Our members are: Me, Julieah Berliner from Connecticut, Julia MacGregor from Ohio, Cecilia Quinn from Illinois and Jason from Texas. The reason I say our group is the best is because we all get along very well, and from what we hear from the other groups, they are mostly all at each others throats or are having problems with one of the members.
So in Goekja I live with a family. I have a mom, a dad (whom I never see) a 10 and 6 year old sister, and a 7 year old brother. All the kids' names start with Gu/l which means flower in Turkmen. Well actually the oldest girl's name is Aygozel (beautiful God) but we all call her Gunca (Gun-CHA) She is basically my keeper. She tells me what to do, when to do it, if I'm doing something totally crazy, etc. All the kids are sweet as pie, and keep me somewhat sane.
The language lessons are intense and hard, but when I think that I have only had 9 days of Turkmen language instruction and I know enough to get by in a house that doesn't know a word of English, its pretty amazing. I have to put everything in perspective because some people in our group just absorb the vocab and are way ahead. Im sure Ill catch up sometime.
The food is so good and I am going to get so fat. Its all carbos soaked/fryed/baked in oil with lots of salt and veggies. The other day we were at a wedding and mistaked a large piece of fat in my soup for a potato. That is the grossest thing I've eaten so far (that I know about)
We have already had 1 volunteer leave. 49 left. We all have bets on how many stick it out. I guess Turk. has one of the largest drop-out rates. I can see it. Their culture is pretty ugly, although amazingly friendly, but very judgemental, and the people are pretty flaky when it comes to doing certain things. Some people at the school are totally pushy and that could get old fast.
The school curriculum is crazy. They all go to school for 9 years from 7/8 years old to 16. The books are insane (at least the English ones) They have bad grammar, are hard to follow and full of propoganda and impossible vocab. The teachers (of English) range from good (understandable) to poor, which is going to be our main focus (teaching the teachers)
I went to the bazaar this morning to buy some material to have a dress made. The bazaars are very hectic and they love to get Americans to buy stuff for 4x the amount. (Who wouldn't?) So I think I am always going to get my family to do the shopping for me. Luckily, we went with Juleah's host sister, so we didn't get a bad deal.
Living here makes me want to have a farm when I get back to the states. We eat mostly whats growing or living in the backyard. (besides oil,oil, salt, and oil) We maybe fill up a pail (size of a paint can) a week with unusable garbage. Food scraps are either used in the next meal, or fed to the chickens.

Hi Everyone! Greetings from T-stan!! So this is my first update at site, or in other words, my first access to the internet, and it will be my last until at least mid november, SO WRITE LETTERS, why dont you listen?? Thanks to mommy and daddy, jeff, danielle and alexa for all the encouragement, and also those who sign the guestbook, I will check that everytime, as well as email, so feel free to go that route too if you must :). We just got back from our permanent site visits and I couldn't be happier, my fam is amazing, my counterpart is incredible, and I can only hope that I will be able to offer to them as much as I will learn. Great job to the T-8, Christina Dominguez, who worked with my counterpart and lived at my house!! By the way, fam, boyfriend, and friends, she had a lot of visiters (my fam is addicted to americans), so dont let me be shown up by her, plan your trips to t-stan!! My permanent site is about 4-5 hours of a DAMN SCARY car ride east of ashgabat, about 15 minutes south east (i think) of Mary. It is awesome, I can't tell you all how excited I am. I already have so many ideas and am working with so many great people. In my fam I have 3 sisters, 15, 9 and 7 (i think) and one brother (13) the older sister and brother both speak pretty understandable english, and the parents are learning, the parents are cool and really remind me of my real parents :). There will be 7 other volunteers near Mary who I will be working with a lot, Sheryl (i believe her parents check this so HI WALLIN FAM!!), Rebecca, Jason, Eugene, Andrea, Mark and Kyle. Hi to all other fams if you check it :). Thanks to everyone else, like cherise and juleahs daddies too!! I will relay the messages! T-stan is great, and I really feel reassured that this is the place where I am supposed to be after going to my permanent site. I was worried there for a while, as Goekja wasn't really cutting it for me, I hope that Misty, the volunteer who is placed there learns to work with them, but, on the bright side, having a bathroom with camels on either side and an awesome family is a plus!! I am a little sad to be leaving training in 3 weeks though because it will mean that we are all separated further apart, and the friendships that have grown so quickly and strongly in the last few weeks, wont be able to be as maintained and continued. Last weekend at the hotel I made the mistake of making a phone call after I asked the russian lady (or had someone who speaks russian, ask the russian lady) how much a phone call costs, I talked a lot longer than expected (a whole 9 minutes), and went down to check how much I owed, it was quite a bit, 230,000 manats, but affordable. The next night (the night before we were to check out) at midnight, I was woke from a benadryl sleep to a russian woman demanding almost 400,000 manats, and when I wouldnt give it to her, she demanded my passport, at this point I run and hide, but she hunts me down. I managed, with the help of other vol. to get on the phone to a PC staff who spoke russian and told her to deal with it in the morning, anyway, I ended up having to pay about 360,000, I am still confused as to why, but point of the story being I haven't quite figured it out here yet!!

I hope to have semi-regular email access eventually, and will be able to write more often and update you on more wild and crazy adventures! Love you all and Take Care!!

For those of you planning to send stuff dont send anything 1)important or expensive or 2)original (like cd tape etc) because it probably wont make it, and I already know of at least 2 letters and maybe 1 package (i keep asking about it, ma) that hasn't gotten here yet....

much love,
Heidi

Sept 12, 2002
Hello from Turkmenistan!
Hi! I hope everyone is well. So I have been in the country for 5 days now, (only 790 left). We arrived Sunday at 4am and started classes at 1pm. We work / listen to lectures from 8:30am to about 5 or 6 PM everyday. We get painful shots regularly, but it is still better then sitting in an office. There are 50 trainees total in T-11 (my group). There are 6 T-9’s in the country right now. (T=Turkmenistan and 9 = the years they have had volunteers in the country). All the T-10’s were relocated after Sept 11th. The original T-6 was 40 or so, but only 6 were able to return after the evacuation (they were all asked back 6 months later, but most found other priorities.)
We mostly get lectured on health and safety and cross-cultured issues. Our language classes are pretty intense and they are a constant reminder of just how bad I suck at learning a new language, but I am sure I will pick it up later (like next week when I move in with my first host family.) I will move again when I am done with training and move to my permanent site for 2 years.
We have had quite a few lessons on the difference between Turkmen culture and American culture, but I am sure I will be able to write a more informative letter on that when I move in with my new families.
We are required to wear long skirts. Anything above the calf is not acceptable. L You can wear really modest sleeveless shirts, but now tank tops L. Flip Flops haven’t gotten me in any trouble yet, so I hope that continues.
The food has been really good, except there has been nothing sweet, so if anyone wants to put a “little Debbie” in a padded envelope, that would be awesome. The only problem is the bathroom is a hole in the ground (but luckily they provide bricks on either side to stand on) and it is about 100 ft away at all times. The main reason this is a problem (which you might have guessed) is that going to Turkmenistan is a lot like going to Mexico, except they highly recommend not using Imodium because they want your body to flush it out. The second reason this is a problem is because people miss L it’s a pretty scary thing, but I guess I will get used to it.
So besides getting lectures “learning” the language, eating, pooping (if you can call it that)…… we have been playing games, writing letters like this, and getting to know each other. We separate on Sat Sept 14th to diff training sites. We will split into 9 groups of 5-7 people. I have become good friends with a girl here Juleah Berliner. I am hoping to get a site close to her J that would be helpful with the homesickness and such…
Anyway, I should finish up now. Please write, even if you have nothing to say. MAIL IS A BIG DEAL HERE! My address is going to be the same as the one on the site all 2.25 years, so it won’t ever be too late. I need to be kept up to date on pop culture and anything exciting, plus if you write, you might get to know something the group doesn’t.
Much Love
Heidi

Postmarked September 6th, arrived September 24th

Hello. Well I am at my training site now, where I will be until mid-November, but I think that I will be keeping the same address the whole time, so feel free to write me anytime. You can add some dingdongs or hohos or something in there too. My Turkmen family is very nice, and now that we are starting to work out the “kinks” I think it will be much easier. I am actually surprised at how well I am adjusting.

There is no furniture in the entire house. We eat, sleep and sit on the floor. When we sleep, we sleep on dus,eklar (a sleeping pad). The toilet is a hole in the ground in the backyard (past the garden, next to the chickens). The bathroom (where you bathe) is a room with a brick floor and a faucet. We heat up buckets of water and use a scoop to pour it over our heads. Eating is quite an interesting experience…we all sit outside, or in, and there is a small, short table which we sit around on the floor and then everyone eats with their hands out of the same pot. Luckily, they have given me my own plate and a spoon. Hopefully, that will keep up.

It is really hot here and we all sweat constantly. Hopefully, I will get some dresses made soon that will help keep me cooler. I have to layer all my clothes. The dresses are pretty ugly, but I can see that my tastes are already being warped.

It was hard to live with the family the first few days, but it is getting easier. The language is difficult for me, everything sounds the same and I have a hard time remembering words right away, unlike, some people in my group who pick up things much faster. I am sure that it will all come together in time. All the volunteers are very nice and patient with me though.

As for my job, it is obvious that there is a lot of work that needs to be done. My sister, Gunga (or Aygothel) is 10 years old and in the 4th form (grade). By the way, she is the cutest thing. I went to her English class and it was awful. The vocabulary was way too difficult for a 10 year old who doesn’t even know the basics. For example, she was learning words like “spiritual revival”, but can’t answer me when I say, “how are you?”

My family here consists of the kaka (father), who I avoid because he is scary, eje (mother) who is constantly tyring to get me to eat (iy (ee), heidi iy, iy iy!). The food is good though, but stomach is not used to it yet. There is another sister, Gunar 6 and a brother Guwang, 7. It is nice to have the little kids around because they are very patient with me and don’t mind repeating things 1 million times.

I hope that everyone is doing great and everyone is well. Please write, it is wonderful to get mail!

Heidi

Hello! My name is Leanne and I am the Peace Corps Medical Officer in
Turkmenistan. I am helping heidi send out this message as she does not
have personal access to email at this time. Heidi is doing fine! Regards, Leanne

Salam!

Your Peace Corps volunteer has arrived safely in
Turkmenistan and is doing fine. All the trainees are
currently in Chuly, a small village in the mountains
about a 45 minute drive from the capital, Ashgabat.
The trainees are spending a week together getting
oriented having sessions on cross culture, health,
safety and security, life in Turkmenistan, and even
getting some language (Turkmen and Russian), as well
as getting all their questions answered. Their plane
arrived safely late Saturday night our time (some time
Saturday morning for you all). Everyone seems to be
doing well and sends hellos. The trainees most likely
will not have access to email or phone for some weeks.
Acutally it is very expensive for us to call you so
most people find a system for you to call us! A hint
you should look around for phone cards the Internet is
a good place to start, my family uses Nobelcom.com
where they get a rate of about $.24 a minute.

I am also a volunteer, but from the T-9 group (this
new group is called T-11). I have been living in
Turkmenistan for a year and half now and love it here.
It is a wonderful country full of hospitable, caring
people.

Take care, Heather Gregory, PCV

Hello from Chicago! Training starts at 1:30 today. Yikes. I have only met my roomates so far. I guess there is supposed to be about 30-50 people going to turkmenistan. That is huge, especially since I thought there would be about 8. My roomates are very nice, but a lot older than me, Nancy is 36 (i think) and Peg is a grandma, with kids around my age, but the 3 of us are all west coasters, nancy and I from california, and peg from arizona. So already the dynamics of the group are pretty interesting (and highly entertaining). I met this really nice businessman, John, on the plane and he took us all out to dinner last night, and we got to see a little of the town. I really wish I had more time to explore. Well, I am going to make this quick, hopefully when my journal gets posted, you will get more detailed updates. love heidi

Thanks to everyone who came to the party. It was a lot of fun. Some of the pictures are up. I am really sad to be leaving so soon. Im going to miss everyone. I will try to keep in touch with all of you. Much love, Heidi

Hi Everyone! I can't wait to start my adventure. Today is the last day of work, and tomorrow is the going away party. woooooo hooooo!

Chris Rules!